Tuesday, June 28, 2011

a year in the life of a teacher in 1,452 words

**I hate reading long blogs. Once I see an insanely long entry I usually tune out. This is one of my most important pieces of writing so if you can make it to the end I will love you forever. Also, check me out on Twitter @FJM718.
Thanks! -FM

Today I completed my third year as a New York City Public School Teacher, a title that I have been and always will be proud to carry. From 2008-2010 I was working in a highly rated middle school with amazingly gifted students who were routinely accepted into the top high schools in the city. I worked with active parents who supported their children both fiscally and academically and with each day that passed in my first two years, I considered myself lucky to be there. I was well received by the administration, my colleagues and most importantly, my students. I can definitely say that as my second year in the system came to a close I was on cruise control, not in the sense that I wasn't working hard but that as a classroom teacher I was pretty comfortable; I was just about to finish my second year and while I knew I had a ton to learn as a teacher I was in a place that made that growth easier.

Then I got kicked to the curb.

With exactly two weeks left in the year, after two years of satisfactory ratings and strong teaching I was told that I was no longer welcome by my principal. The details are something that still sting to this day and I will probably carry with me for a very long time. I won't share them on the blog but come get a beer with me and I'll fill you in.

After going through hell (again beers will get you details) I was lucky enough to find a principal who believed in me at a high school in the Bronx. It was at this point that I realized I would have to put up or shut up. You see, coming out of Fordham (both undergrad and graduate) I was taught and came to believe in urban education. I truly believe that working in an urban school is an honorable undertaking that, while being very challenging, can also be very rewarding. Although I was thrilled to be at my former school and while I loved the students and faculty to death (and I still do), a part of me realized that I wasn't really following through on my beliefs in urban education. When people asked where I worked, I would tell them that I was in the city but it was as close to the suburbs as a city school can get; now it was going to be different. I was going to be in THE BRONX on Gun Hill Road no less (doesn't it just sound menacing?) I was going from passing by manicured lawns to get to my classroom to passing through metal detectors. The question was, "Can I do it?"

I started in September and I truly didn't know what was going to happen. I was teaching 3 sections of 9th graders Government/US History and 1 section English, another new experience that didn't make things any easier. The kids were tough, I was working in a co-teaching partnership for the first time with a total stranger and the wounds of June 2010 were still pretty fresh. I quickly learned that these weren't the same kids I taught in Queens. In many cases one or both parents were absent, many were years behind academically and it was clear that almost none of them had been challenged academically before entering my classroom. During the second week of school one of my students locked himself in a locker and soon after I was told to "go fuck myself" for the first (but not the last) time. I worked with my students, was able to reach some of them but things were still tough. I was lucky because I was one of a number of new teachers at the school who soon became a support group while each of us took turns venting about the latest adventures with our wonderful freshman.

I made it through Christmas (the first major benchmark of the year for a teacher) and was beginning to do better work. I came back in January and before I knew it winter break in February was upon us. The year was flying by and I was positive I could make it.

I was wrong.

It was almost 8 weeks before the next break, the equivalent of three lifetimes when working with teenagers 24 periods a week. Things got tougher, my students continued to test me and I for the first time I questioned whether I could actually teach at my school. It was during this time that another freshman teacher (who was hired at the same time as me) quit, leaving a gaping hole in an already buckling 9th grade team. Staff morale was low and June 28th felt like it was years away. I had my weekly meeting with my department chair and came clean that I was losing it. He steered me in the right direction, letting me know that he had many of the same thoughts during his first year and that it would pass.

He was right.

I came back from spring break renewed. Not only because there were only 6 weeks left in the year but because I realized that I could do this. I mentioned in an earlier blog that working in The Bronx is tough. My students are challenging (the greatest euphemism I have ever used) and at many times all that myself and many of my colleagues could do was sit back and vent (another euphemism) about how impossible our situation was. Make no mistake about it, the students we work with can make you crazy and make you want to run out of the building as if it was on fire however, I soon realized that I was wrong: it's not impossible. It was then that I realized I could either be part of the problem or part of the solution. I chose the latter. I became part of the hiring committee, tried my best to not go crazy with my students and worked with 3 amazing colleagues to create and implement a two day celebration of learning for our Freshman that allowed them to reflect on their work and more importantly share what they learned with their fellow students and the school community. Over the last two months of the year, I realized that I have the ability to help my school, a school that people who I admire and respect have put a tremendous amount of time and energy to build and get where it is today. It's not perfect, but it's also not finished. I know I can help finish the job.

I didn't come to this realization on my own. I had a principal who supported me, not only when I was teaching for him, but last summer, before he ever knew me and I was just a second year teacher with a spotty past. I had a department chair who became my mentor and friend who consistently pushed me to be better personally, to make my class more challenging for my students and to be a better teacher. I had amazing colleagues who helped me through the tough times and with whom I celebrated the good, as rare as they sometimes seemed to be. And I had my wife who was always there to listen to me complain, support me and believe in me.

I made it through the year.

There were times when I didn't think it would happen but amazingly enough it did. I've never been as proud professionally as I am in this moment. It turns out that as a teacher, the events of last June were the best thing that could happen to me. I truly believe that I would not have grown as a teacher as much as I did this year if I had stayed where I was (don't get me wrong it doesn't make up for the heartache of June 2010). With all of that being said, there's a thought bouncing around my head that no teacher should have on the last day of school: I'm looking forward to September. While I am going to enjoy this summer more than any other before, I'm already looking forward to the challenge that will be the 2011-2012 school year. It's not going to be easy but I know that I'm prepared to handle it.....at least until I'm told to go fuck myself.

Happy summer.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

My School, My Community, My Pride

Teaching in The Bronx is not easy.

While I always figured this would be the case, my first year actually doing it made this very simple truth one of the greatest challenges I have ever faced on both a professional and personal level. I'm waiting for the official end of the school year to write my reflection on the 2010-2011 school year but I had one of my best days as a teacher today and I felt the need to share.

Today in NYC was Chancellor's Day, a day with no students where schools hold professional development, or PD in teacher talk. I can honestly say that I have no recollection of what I did on Chancellor's Day for the past two years which lets me know just how big of an impact that type of PD made on me. Today was different and I know I won't soon forget what I did on Chancellor's Day 2011. Our day at BLS was split in two sessions and my participation in both made me more proud of the learning community that I am a part of than anything else so far this year.

Over the past four months, each member of staff has been a part of a Professional Learning Team (PLT) that met once or twice a month during our weekly 2.5 hour PD (another piece of my school that I have undervalued by looking at it as just a half day of teaching rather than what it really is: a whole day of learning) to analyze and discuss an issue or topic that we face as teachers. PLT groups included projects/assessment, classroom management, addressing student apathy, technology, and a few others and today was the presentation of what the work that each group has done. Simply put, I was floored by the amazing work that my colleagues have done over the past few months. Each group presented thoughtful, challenging and insightful information for the staff that can help each member of our community become better at what they do.

For the second part of the day, we meet with our departments and each teacher presented their curriculum map for the 2011-2012 school year. My colleagues in the history department presented maps that posed thoughtful and challenging essential questions, well crafted projects and meaningful goals that helped me to not only see how amazing they are at what they do, but also how just how much I can learn from them each and every day.

So let me go back to the beginning. Teaching in The Bronx is tough. It is very easy to get frustrated and discouraged when working with challenging students day in and day out. I feel that what can get easily lost in the frustration and (justified) complaining is the amazing work that my colleagues and I are doing. My school is a work in progress, a transitional period for a a learning community in just its 7th year of existence, but the things that are happening there, the freedom we have to be creative and the community of hard working, supportive educators who are pushing both students and teachers to be the best they can be makes my school a great place to be.

Thanks for a great day guys.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Me and My Hats (or Me and My Caps)

I love hats.

Growing up I had about 30-40 hats all of which I loved for different reasons and would wear all the time. I remember my parents and my grandfather telling me that if I didn't stop wearing a hat it would make my hair fall out. I never believed them although looking back on it my grandfather always wore a fedora and was, in fact, bald so maybe he was on to something.

I imagine my love for hats was probably a result of loving baseball so much since it's the only sport in which the players wear hats (or caps in baseball terms) on the field. As a kid, I always wanted to look just like the players I idolized which lead to me constantly wearing wristbands for no apparent reason and dressing up as Keith Hernandez for Halloween. The only thing missing was the cap.

While I had the plastic "snap" Mets cap, I always wanted an official on-field, fitted one. Besides the fact that my head would not have fit in an official baseball cap growing up, I don't have any memory of them even being sold. In order to make up for this deficiency of head wear (tragic childhood, no?) as an adult I have owned close to 10 Mets fitted caps. Although they represent the same team, each one is a little different ranging from the different colors (blue, black, black/blue and the rare white), the 2000 World Series version, to the one with the American flag that came out after September 11th and most recently the Citi Field Inaugural Season version.

I'm not going to lie, the hat/cap thing might be the craziest part of my personality as is evident in the fact that I'm writing a blog about them. After owning a traditional blue Mets cap through the tragic 2007 and 2008 New York Mets, I decided that the cap was cursed and had a formal destruction ceremony with my friend Mike in which we tore it to pieces (the team suffered one of it's worst on the field years record wise since 2003 which just shows how much of a superstitious idiot I truly am.) I'll spend 10-15 minutes trying them on in order to find just the "right" one which is always a treat for my wife and at this point, I buy a new one every two years, hoping and (genuinely) thinking that this might be the one that brings my forlorn team a winning season but alas they never do. The past two years with the aforementioned all black Citi Field version brought more pain so at last night's game I bought another, this one the black and blue version (which I'm sure you already figured out was next in the cycle unless of course you didn't which would speak volumes about the proper attention you give the hats...none.)



There is an art to breaking in an official cap since they are usually very stiff and don't initially look that good on one's head as you can see in the photo above. I'll be wearing this one for the next two years and possibly longer in case this team begins to turn it around which already doesn't look promising 12 games into the season.

I'm glad that something as simple as a hat can still make me happy but more importantly I'm still happy that I have all of my hair.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Campaign Commercial for the Non-Existent Candidate

Once a year, we here in America (and other democratic nations) become overloaded on political campaign ads extolling the virtues of candidates of (mostly) questionable character. One will lower taxes, one is blue collar just like me and you and another wants to end a war.

Regardless of the candidate or the message, these commercials exist for one reason: get the candidate elected. Why is it then, that a three term mayor (2 that are legitimate, 1 that is both selfish and immoral) needs to run what amounts to a campaign commercial just over a year into a four year term? I suppose poor approval ratings and $20 billion are the answer I'm looking for as to why Mayor Bloomberg is running these commercials when he can never run for mayor again.

Instead of spending money on commercials to change public opinion, how about you become more aware of why it is that public opinion of you and your policies is so low?

Why don't you spend the "high six figures" that has has been reported as the cost of your commercial and put it back into the city. Even though I'm a math-deficient History teacher, I can still figure out that $900,000 could keep nearly 20 first-and second-year teachers in the classrooms of New York City.

Maybe I'm just foolish to think the "education mayor" would do something like that.

Monday, February 28, 2011

a day in the life of a teacher (well a young one anyway)

My friend the mayor released a list of potential teacher layoffs in New York City this morning. As I was woke up, trying to will myself out of bed after a week off, I heard the news report and was suddenly even less excited to start my day.

Then I went to work....

.....and taught 60 9th graders in my Civics class how to contact their representative concerning proposed gun control legislation in the House.

Then, I took a look at the aforementioned list provided by the D.O.E. and saw that my school has 5 teachers that could be laid off if the mayor doesn't get his way. Best part? It was just a number so maybe it's me but then again maybe it's not. I spent a small part of the remainder of the day wondering if I was one of the unlucky ones. I didn't necessarily appreciate the suspense of it all.

Then I taught 30 9th graders English. Well kind of anyway. Midway through the day all of the outlets in my room blew rendering useless the PowerPoint that I was going to project onto my board to teach my mini lesson. Can't win 'em all.....or apparently ANY of 'em.

Then I came home had dinner with my wife and watched our friend the mayor on the news. I'm not too sure if the mayor thought about me and my fellow teachers today- well maybe he did, after all he made up a nice list!- but I know he didn't think about my wife, and the grief that his list caused her today.

This is my 3rd year teaching in New York City and my 3rd year of hearing that I might lose my job...it's kind of like an anniversary. Should I get a gift? What is the 3rd year? Leather? Anyway
throughout these sagas, I always took the position that what will be will be. Whatever happens, I'll be prepared and besides it can't be as bad as the end of last year can it? Politics aside (and I do have opinions that I may share in the future), I just want to keep my job. I love teaching, even on the first day back from vacation, when I'm told my job is in jeopardy and the power doesn't work so I can't teach my lessons.

Actually, today kind of just sucked but I am ready for tomorrow and the challenges that await with my classes.

Let's hope I get the same chance next year.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Cairo/The Bronx

For the past five months, I've been teaching 9th grade Civics/U.S. Government in the Bronx. If you had walked into my classroom at any time over the last five months, you would have heard terms like limited government, democracy, dictator and popular consent. Many of my students see these as just words in a book or on a worksheet they were given in class. Like many of us, they hear terms like "democracy" but not really being sure what that means. Something that comes as a result of hearing but not necessarily thinking about it.

Today my 9th graders (all 90 of 'em!) and I were able to see these terms in action and it was one of best days in my three years of teaching.

The events unfolding in Egypt over the past two and a half weeks have been a microcosm of what I've been teaching this school year. My students have learned about different systems of government, created a government for a fictional nation and discussed the role that government should play in the lives of people (or more importantly, the role that people play in a government).

Today, in a whirlwind of timing and technology, I was able to take my students to Cairo, where what they have been learning this year was coming to life. As my students entered the room, the Al Jazeera coverage from Tahrir Square was playing on the board. We watched for a little bit and then moved into our lesson which reviewed the events of the last two weeks, as well as an analysis of photographs of the protesters in Cairo. We had a chance to use events that were happening in real time to assess their knowledge of democracy and government. During my 3rd period class,as students were completing their exit slips, we watched as President Mubarak officially resigned. With my last period class, we were able to watch President Obama's statement. In the latter case, I was able to sit down and watch it with them.

Today was a great day to be a social studies teacher. Too often, we are teachers of the past; today we were able to be teachers of the present. Now I can't guarantee that my students are sitting at home on a Friday night talking about what's next for Egypt but I do know that during the three hours that I spent with them today, they got to watch what they have learned in my class happen right in front of them. That is a wonderful thing.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Teach

Another week past, another week of teaching in the Bronx now behind me. (It's also another year of the mayor telling me that I'm going to lose my job but those are thoughts for another post.)

Had an up and down week with my students who were a mix of brilliant and maddeningly apathetic over the last four days. I'm now just past the halfway point of the year and each week/day/class has presented both challenges and rewards, although complete honesty would say there have been many more of the former. Each challenge that I face has built a resolve that makes me ask "How can I make this work?", a question whose answer I have yet to find. However, this question has led to a deeper reflection on both my practice and educational philosophy.

Today a co-worker and I had an extended discussion about the role that home plays in education of a child. As someone who was academically lazy throughout my childhood, I feel that I know better than most just how uninteresting school can be for adolescence (perhaps one of the reasons that I wanted to become a teacher in the first place.) While I thought school was boring at times, I always knew that in some way, it was important. Why? Because my parents told me that it was. Kids are stupid- and I mean that in the nicest way possible,- which is to say that a child between the ages of 5-11 can be convinced about anything (see the Tooth Fairy) so if a parent tells them that school is important when they're young, they just might listen. By no means does this predict academic success, but it doesn't hurt for a student to hear that school and their education have value because if they doesn't happen then, they probably won't care too much when they get to high school. Unfortunately, I work with a handful of students who might not have gotten that message growing up, which leaves an uphill challenge for myself and my colleagues.

So, once again, how can I make this work? I don't know. However, I'm beginning to realize that if I can get them to think,than I would be doing my part in moving them along in life. More on that in the future.

Two more weeks till Winter Break with many more challenges (both known and unknown) on the horizon. As time passes, I continue to learn these lessons which will prepare me for what awaits in the future.