Bringing Dad Home

Me and Dad- July 8, 2012

Just a note before the post. I am eternally grateful for my sisters who have been amazing siblings and friends throughout my life, but especially over the past six months. I don't know where my family would be without them. It was an honor and a pleasure to take this trip with them

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The story of my father’s emigration to America is one of legend.

Every New Year’s Eve he would tell us the story of his departure from Ireland on that day in 1959 and each year the story seemed to get bigger and bigger. If you sat down and made a list of people who were documented as making the trip down to Cobh, it would well exceed the maximum capacity of the Morris Minor that took them there. He was just 16 years old when he said goodbye to his family that night. He was a teenager on his way to a new life in a new land.

My dad spent 54 years in America. He built a home with my mother and watched his children have children. Although the majority of his life was here in New York, Ireland was never far from his mind. Once in America, he sent money home to his mother, kept a strong connection with his brothers and sisters and visited as often as possible. Always aware of the important role that both places played in his life, my father decided to be cremated and asked us to leave his ashes in those places that defined his time on Earth.

This weekend, my sisters and I brought our dad home.

We brought him to Clones, County Monaghan, Ireland.

We brought him to the house where he was born and spent the first 16 years of his life.

We brought him to the church where he was baptized and received his first communion.

We buried him alongside his mother and father.

His brothers, sisters, cousins, nieces and nephews were all there to say goodbye.

After a beautiful mass and burial, we had a family lunch attended by over a hundred McCaughey and McElroy cousins. There were relations from all over the country, the large majority of whom I had never met before. They came out for my dad and many introduced themselves and shared wonderful memories of both my mother and father.  Later that day (and well into the night) over twenty of my first cousins gathered at the Cosy Bar in Clones. It was a wonderful night of pints, stories, songs and chips. The only thing more satisfying than the Guinness was the thought of how happy my dad would have been to see me and my sisters with our Irish cousins.

On Sunday, a dozen of us drove up to land in County Tyrone that has been owned by McCaughey’s for 270 years (for my American friends, George Washington was a teenager back then). It is the place where the history of the McCaughey’s was written. It’s where my grandfather was born and my father and uncles spent the summers of their youth. It was a part of the official Frank McCaughey tour of Clones with each trip to Ireland leading to an inevitable visit.  We went and explored the house, said a prayer and shared stories. On the way out, my cousins and uncle climbed the hill overlooking the house and the loch and left some of dad behind. It makes me happy to think of him being back there.

The lane to Clogher

The Hill

My sisters and I were in Ireland for just over 48 hours. Each minute was accounted for and each minute was wonderful.  Although we know that things won’t ever be as they once were, the trip and the task we completed provide a certain amount of closure. After all that our father gave to us, this weekend we were able to give a little back to him. I look forward to next New Year's Eve when we can not only tell the story of how dad came to America but also how we brought him home to Ireland.

My Dad

Last Friday, my dad passed away after a 5 month battle with liver cancer. While I don't know if I'll ever truly get over losing him, I do know that I have two wonderful sisters who will help me carry on his legacy. After losing our mom in September, these have not been the easiest times for us. Please keep my sisters and I in your thoughts as we attempt to resume some of the normalcy that has been missing from our lives since July. I want to thank all of the people who have offered amazing support with everything ranging from a kind word to a hot meal. I would be remiss if I didn't specifically mention my cousins the Askins who, while dealing with their own loss, have given so much to make everything a bit easier.

The following is the eulogy that I delivered at my dad's funeral yesterday. I hope it captures a little bit of what this wonderful man was like. 

I love you dad.

“Do me a favor…”

If you ever met Frank McCaughey, you probably heard him use this simple, four-word phrase. He said it so much that he actually had it inscribed on a nameplate in his office. During my grade school years when winter vacation would find me at Dad’s office, I would read this placard over and over again yet not quite understand it. Everyone that I had ever met had nothing but nice things to say about our dad, yet here he was constantly asking people for favors. How did he do it? Our father was able to get away with this  barrage of personal requests because he was so giving of himself to others. Anyone who he asked for a favor knew that if they ever needed something, he would be right there to help. Perhaps he even did you a favor: took you on a personal tour of New York City, brought a cheesecake from Whitestone for the holidays or a safely delivered you to JFK for a flight.

Frank McCaughey left Ireland 4 weeks short of his 17^th birthday. At an age when most teens are only beginning to think about their future, our dad was on a ship, sailing to his. In true “American Dream” form, our dad went from flipping burgers at White Castle to bank vice president and among the most respected men in his field. He managed all of this while juggling the two Seamus’s in the early years (you just know he was the sensible one) and a wife and three children in later years. Despite his success in America, our dad never forgot where he came from: Clones (and if you need any proof of his memory, just look at my license plate). My father was a proud Irishman and despite the obstacles of distance and time, he stayed close with his brothers and sisters and got to know many of his Irish nieces and nephews extremely well. It was important to him that my sisters and I keep that Irish connection strong and we’re proud to know that he was able to see how close we are with our family from so far away.

He had an amazing partner in our mother for 43 years. Their love, dedication, and commitment to each other, was evident in their everyday lives.  My sisters and I had their marriage as model for us to follow as we all began our own families. They travelled the world together and enjoyed the wonderful, close family that they created including their grandchildren, who all benefited from the love of their Papa in the form of munchkins, tractor rides and lessons on feeding the birds. When our mother was in the hospital over the summer, he never wanted to leave her bedside wanting to give her comfort and likely taking comfort in the time he was spending with her. There’s a part of me that knows that he left us so quickly because he just couldn’t stand being here without her.

He was a wonderful father for me, Mary and Anne. There was nothing we ever wanted for and we grew up secure in the knowledge that he would always be there for us. His strong work ethic and family values have influenced as all, and we know our Dad helped shaped the people we are today.

Over the last few months, our father was faced with hardships not known to many. He lost his wife Maureen and his best friend Seamus, while also fighting his own illness. Although his burden was heavy, he carried it with a faith in God that drove his strength and courage. These qualities revealed the person that he was, as well as the one we wish our children to be.

For now, we say goodbye but we know that it isn’t forever. While things have not been easy on our family, we can take solace in the fact that our father is now at peace, back with his dear Maureen and all who went before him. Although he isn’t with us physically we know that he will never be far away, watching over us and protecting us…….while also fixing St. Peter’s Gate with Seamus Askin.

So, in closing I ask you to do me a few favors: remember our dad and the life he lived. Just as he did, love your family, have faith in God, celebrate your past and take care of one another While mourning his death, also remember that his was a life well-lived and we are all better for knowing him.  

Parenthood and Google

Since my son was born, I've been wondering how people raised children before the internet (idiotic 21st century thought I know) but I'm guessing it was a lot of trial and error. Luckily, I have had Google. Here are some of the things I've looked up over the first 7 days with my baby.

pre-labor
signs of early labor
when should you go to a hospital after your water breaks
directions to beth israel (really procrastinated on this one)
how long should babies sleep
babies sleeping deeply
breastfeeding message boards
when can you start using a breast pump
forest hills pediatrics
famous birthdays november 6
can babies get gas from what a mother eats
how to swaddle
newborns and pacifiers
husbands help breastfeeding
how long do hemorrhoids last
nipple confusion
babies r us locations

Yup, that about sums up my first week of fatherhood. It's been absolutely fantastic so far, as my wife and I have done an admirable job adjusting to life with baby (with a little help from the internet of course.)

Football From Across the Ocean: The 2012/2013 Manchester City Preview

"Winning takes talent, to repeat takes character."

    -John Wooden

When Jamie Mackie headed home this goal against Manchester City last May, I felt sick.

After following every move of City over the previous nine months, I could not believe that it would all fall apart on the last day of the season against a team that was facing relegation. The next 25 minutes did nothing to allay my sickness but as we know, everything changed in extra time. I've been following sports my entire life and I've never seen anything that comes close to the "Miracle in Manchester" (summed up brilliantly in this video). All was lost until 2 goals in 4 minutes saved City and won them the title.

Three months later and the beginning of a new season in the Premier League is upon us. What are the biggest issues standing between City and a repeat championship? Let's take a look.

1)Will City get burned for a quiet summer?
-It's well known that defending champions play with a target on their back the following season. Over the next 9 months, City will be getting their opponents "best" 38 times but did they do enough to handle this pressure? On paper, the answer is a resounding NO as City only brought in one player on transfer in a young and oft-injured Jack Rodwell. However, three summers of wild spending has created a roster that is deep at multiple positions so City should still have a successful team. United and Chelsea both had big time off seasons but will they be enough to take over City?

2)Will the real Carlos Tevez please stand up?
-Two seasons ago, Carlos Tevez tied for the league lead with 2 goals. Last season found Carlos sinking more birdie putts in Argentina than goals in England. An off-season of transfer requests followed by the legendary Munich meltdown found Roberto Mancini writing off any future of Tevez in Manchester. However, an Aguero slump and a Balotelli meltdown found Tevez making a prodigal son like comeback for the last two months of the season that proved influential in the eventual title. What to expect this year? If you listed to Carlos, big things are on the horizon (this beauty of a goal in the Community Shield would back him up) but you never can tell with volatile Tevez.

3)What about Mario?
-The Easter Sunday loss at Arsenal was the nadir of the 2011/2012 campaign. Besides an apparent season ending loss, the lowlight of this match was the sending off and subsequent suspension of Mario Baltotelli. It not only opened the door for the return of Carlos Tevez but it also signaled the apparent end of Super Mario in Manchester (as if the fireworks, bebe guns and Lamborghini antics weren't enough). They say time heals all wounds, and after setting up the title winning Aguero goal and stealing the show at Euro 2012, Mario appears to be at the top of his game. The problem? The Argentinian duo of Tevez and Aguero seem to create a log jam up front, especially if Tevez gets off to a hot start. The way Mancini handles the line up will be an interesting sub plot for the season, especially since he bungled the use of Edin Dzeko last year, who saw playing time all but disappear after a brilliant start to the season.

4)Kompany, Silva, Yaya and??
-Before the late season swoon, the lowest point of City's play on the field last season came during the absence of Yaya Toure (African Cup of Nations and the suspension) and Vincent Kompany (suspension following an FA Cup straight red against United). Without Kompany, City was left with mistake prone Stefan Savic and the team struggled.  It goes without saying that having the captain on the field is of the utmost importance. In the midfield, the players surrounding David Silva and Yaya will say a lot about this team. You assume the Nasri will be there, but who else? James Milner showed signs of life last year before losing time to Gareth Barry while Adam Johnson is rumored to be going out on loan. I personally liked to see de Jong out there because his physical, defense first style gives Yaya the freedom to move further up the field which is where he is at his best. It will also be interesting to see what impact new signee Jack Rodwell will have.

So, can they do it? To go back to the John Wooden quote that started this blog, it takes a special team to repeat as champions. I know that City has the talent but the major question is, do they have the character? The presence of a captain that leads by example and players that lead by their play on the field makes me feel that City will get the job done.

Football from Across the Ocean: The 2012/2013 Premier League Preview

After one of the most entertaining seasons of sport that I have ever followed, we are back for a third consecutive year of football from across the ocean. A fantastic finish to 2011/2012 and a busy summer should result in another great campaign getting underway in just a few hours.

While I believe that the title will once again come down to the blue and red sides of Manchester (more on that later), I think the most interesting teams to follow this season might just be Chelsea and Liverpool.

Chelsea won an improbable double last year with the FA Cup and Champions League. They struggled in the league all year (finishing in 6th, an amazing 25 points behind City ) yet somehow managed to become champions of Europe. Those two titles reek of a team of veterans who were hell bent on giving the middle finger to a coach who thought he could take charge without their permission. While Chelsea fans benefited from this last year, they may start to pay for it this year. Those two championships basically forced Abramovich to hire Roberto DiMatteo who may or may not be suited for the job. I think Chelsea was a close second to United in the transfer market with the signings of Eden Hazard and Oscar but I'm not sure if it will add up to success in the league.

It's not crazy to think that it's more a matter of "when" as opposed to "if" in regards to success at Liverpool. After getting Swansea promoted two seasons ago, Brendan Rodgers enjoyed a very successful debut, leading the first Welsh team to play in the Premier League. Rodgers' brand of "Barca lite", possession football was both entertaining and effective last season with wins or draws against City, Arsenal, Chelsea and Spurs. Much like Bill Parcells, (who famously said that if you're going to cook dinner you should be able to buy the groceries) Rodgers held out for complete control of football operations and immediately made moves to bring in players that can play his game. In addition to the talent at Anfield already, players like Joe Allen and Fabio Borini should make positive contributions this year. I'll buy in on Rodgers and say that Liverpool push for the top four this year. (On a side note, I can't wait for the behind the scenes "Being Liverpool" on Fox Soccer starting in September)

Other thoughts on 2012/2013....


-I have no idea what to say about Arsenal. They lost Fabregas and Nasri at the beginning of last season and now Van Persie and (apparently) Alex Song this year. Last year, they struggled early on, but ended strong in third place in front of Spurs. The arrival of Lukas Podolsky and Olivier Giroud and the development of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain should make it an entertaining season for Arsenal who might be better than people think after losing Van Persie. Heck, maybe even Jack Wilshere gets healthy and does something.

-I think that Spurs, Liverpool and Newcastle will be fighting for the final Champions League spot this year. I think Tottenahm is the perfect landing place for Andres Villas Boas as he takes over a team that, while having periods of success over the past two seasons, is still a low pressure situation. Newcastle was the surprise of last year and I expect more success from them especially with a full season of Pappis Cisse and more solid work from Tim Krul in goal.

-Brendan Rodgers and Swansea got most of "newly promoted success story" press last year but you can't forget about the work that Paul Lambert did at Norwich City. I'm interested to see how he does at Aston Villa, after a season in which the team was doomed from the start after hiring the coach of a team that was both relegated and their biggest rival. I'm thinking a finish towards the top half of the table is a possibility.

-I joined a Premier League fantasy league for the first time this year and it help me realize how much I like Everton. I have both Leighton Baines and Nikica Jelavic (who I expect a big year from ) on my team and when you add in Tim Howard and a Daniel Craig look a like coach, I think I have found my second team in the league.

-What would a preview from across the ocean be without a look at the Irish players in the EPL. I'm excited for a full season of James McClean at Sunderland as much as I'm worried about Shay Given at Aston Villa who might find time a little less guaranteed after retiring from the Irish team. I'm hoping that Shane Long can stay healthy for the year and perhaps Seamus Coleman will see more first team play at Everton.

-Where are my Americans at? Well as I write this I see that Clint Dempsey has been suspended for refusing to play for Fulham. Follow that up with his mysterious Twitter feed and this sounds like this is far from over. It seems like he got lost in the transfer shuffle with only two weeks before the window closes. This seems to continue to bad luck for Americans in the EPL as both Stuart Holden and Tim Ream got relegated along with Bolton on the last day of the season last year. It will be interesting to see i this affects their development/status on the USMNT.

Now for the good stuff.

There was a time in baseball where all that mattered was Yankees vs. Red Sox. Nationally televised games, documentaries and back to back ALCS's in '03 and '04 led many to (incorrectly) believe that the only baseball being played was in Boston and the Bronx. After the epic ending to the 2011/2012 campaign last year, there's reason to believe that the Premier League is heading toward a similar era but this time, instead of the teams being separated by hundreds of miles, they inhabit the city of Manchester. Although there will be teams that push them (with Chelsea being at the top of that list) you get the feeling that this year will mirror the last and end with a tight race between City and United.

Each team had the summer you think a first and second place team would have. After having the title pulled out from under them in a matter of seconds (the look on the faces of Fergie and Phil Jones in Sunderland after losing the title is classic) United worked the transfer market with a purpose, ending with the landscape shifting acquisition of Robin Van Persie and his little boy.  While the signing of RVP is huge, I think a full season of  Nemanja Vidić is even more important for United who didn't necessarily want for goals last year as much as sound defense.

City on the other hand had a shockingly quiet off-season, much to the dismay of the finely coiffed Mr. Mancini. Whether it be financial fair play or the inability to unload massive contracts, there has only been one move of note from City. While it's tough to feel bad for a man who has had a blank check for the past few years, it's easy to understand his frustration. After you win a title, everyone in the league is gunning for you and to not make any moves to improve your team (while everyone else is bringing in players in order to beat you) might dash any hopes of a repeat. With that being said, you won't find anybody feeling bad for City who still have an incredibly deep roster that will allow them to be at the top of the table all year.

Much like last year,  my brain is saying United but my heart is with City. The foundation of Kompany, Silva, Yaya and Hart, combined with the Argentine pair of Aguero and the fresh and resurgent Carlos Tevez (somewhat of a transfer player after only playing in 13 league games last season) will find City at the top of the table come May.

Predictions for 2012/2013
Top Four: City, United, Chelsea, Arsenal
Golden Boot: Carlos Tevez
FA Cup: Newcastle
Capital One Cup (sounds like college football): Manchester City
Top Newcomer: Eden Hazard

The Biggest Challenge I Face in my Classroom

In July, I spent a week at the University of Kansas studying the landmark Supreme Court case of Brown v. Board of Education. At the end of our day at the Brown national park site, the lead professor of the seminar shared with us a quote from W.E.B DuBois on segregated education and opened the floor to the participants to share their thoughts and reactions.

What happened next was a teacher led discussion on educational inequality starting with the segregated schools of the American South in the 1960's and leading up to today.  It was a very interesting 90 minutes, with 25 teachers from around the country exploring many issues from race, teacher effectiveness, parental involvement and their influence on education. As a teacher from New York City, my contribution to the discussion focused on the crippling affect that poverty is having on many of the students in New York City and around the country.

Teaching in the Bronx for the past two years has brought the issue of poverty crashing into my world. I teach students who can rarely stay after school for extra help or extracurricular activities because they need to go home and watch their siblings while their parents (or in some cases, parent) work. Over 80% of the students at my school qualify for reduced or free lunches based on their family income. These are just two of many examples that I could use to show that learning is just one of my challenges my students face each day.When my students step into my classroom each morning, many of them have already had a pretty tough day; education is often the furthest thing from their minds.

If you listen to the media in our country, the performance of American students does not offer much promise for our future. A report released in 2004 shows that American students rank toward the middle or back of the statistical pack on math, science and reading standardized tests when compared with 34 countries globally. However, recent studies have shown that affluent students score up to 40% higher on standardized tests when compared with low income students, an increase that would have an impact on the statistics found in the 2004 report mentioned above. While there are many issues facing education in America, the one with the most profound impact on our educational system is the gap found between rich and poor students.

This week, NY1 reported that up to 70% of students in New York City live at or below the poverty line. On a personal level, this article comes at the right time, as I begin to shift out of "summer" mode and prepare for the upcoming school year (call it Spring Training for Teachers if you will). This study is a reminder of not only how important my job is, but how challenging it is as well. I agree that quality instruction and teaching can make a tremendous impact on students but I'm also aware that there are many forces out of my control that impact my work as well, with poverty being at the top of that list.

This isn't a teacher making excuses (as I'm sure many people outside of the world of education would believe) but rather an educator who lives and experiences these issues everyday. We live in a world of "quick fix" solutions (over testing students, charter schools, vouchers, "for profit" education, etc) but poverty is an issue that goes beyond the classroom and thus cannot be "easily" tackled. As with all education issues, it is vital that teachers share their voice on this issue and push for change. From there, it is left to our government and policy makers to do what we need them to do and take on the most difficult issues facing America today, starting with the disparity between rich and poor and the devastation that extreme poverty is having on both our country and classrooms.

Meeting Mrs. Brown

I'm spending the week at the University of Kansas attending a seminar hosted by the Gilder Lehrman Institute for American History on the Civil Rights Movement, in particular the Brown vs. the Board of Education decision. I'm hoping to write a few times over the course of the seminar to share my thoughts on history, teaching and the fact that it's 106 degrees outside (apparently Lawrence, KS is located on the surface of the sun.)

As a history teacher, I am constantly reminded that the use of primary sources is the best way to enhance lessons and activities. While the use of documents and political cartoons is excellent, today I had the chance to work with the best primary source there is: a person who lived through the event.

Today our group had the chance to meet with Leota Brown Montgomery, the wife of Oliver Brown and mother of Linda Brown. The Browns, along with other families from both Kansas and around the country, fought for their children to have equal access to education in a case that was argued at the Supreme Court. While the landmark decision did not necessarily end segregation in our schools, it did give students of color the same educational opportunities afforded to white children. Hearing Mrs. Brown Montgomery talk about her life in Topeka and her family's experiences during the case that bears their name was amazing and is an experience I am looking forward to sharing with my students next year.

In addition to sharing stories of the Brown case, Mrs. Brown Montgomery provided much more. She is a living reminder that, although our country has made great strides in regards to race and equality, we still have many citizens who lived through the difficulties and struggles that made up so much of the African American experience in the 20th century.  These individuals help us remember that we aren't all that far removed from a time where American citizens were discriminated against because of the color of their skin. Since 2008 we have heard how far we have come because we have a black president. While this is true, we are also only 60 years (a blink of the eye time wise) removed from a time where parents had to send their children to schools far from home because of their race.